LOVE. I dont get it! What is love, but a simple trick from nature that makes you lust someone and convinces you to feel like you are not good alone and you need a lover to be happy?? Why do we let ourselfs get so close and build a so-called "relationship" knowing that at any one moment they could change their mind? Or you? Maybe its just me...but i am totally lost.
See there is this guy...
I met him at school.. i hate to say this but i honestly never thought it would amount to anything because everyone kept telling me he was a player and to stay away lol. I know that sounds sad but i didnt really care what they said i wanted to get to know him so i did.
And of course... I fell in LOVE... And now its impossible to stop!!! Its like a drug! He is mean to me and i still want him! I yell at him for no reason and i still love him! Why then am i yelling if im not planning on getting rid of him?? What the heck!!!
But he is the most important person to me. And i am always hurting him. Im so stupid. And cant say im sorry because sorry is just a word it means nothing but then i try to act sorry and i dont know how! I just want him to know i love him and would do anything possible to make him happy even if thats me leaving... Its strange to do something that kills you for someone you love..
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Where was I??
Hey names Amber. Im an alright person. I know what i want in life just not how to get it. The only way to really know me is to really listen to me and try to think like i do. So i just spent forever composing the perfect blog and...I deleted it! Of course! Okay well pretty much... I am currently on the computer trying to make a resume, going through 100s of pointless jobs on 3 different job search engines, and applying for colleges and scholarships..
And i am just wondering.. Who told everyone how to do all this stuff? and WHERE THE HECK WAS I?? Seriously? I feel like i just slept everyday for a week in class and woke up in the middle of a quiz that everyone else had known about and been studying for since last friday and im like What did i miss guys?
I just cant even fathom how i have been "sleeping" for the last 5 years of my life and all the sudden when i realize i have nothing i wake up?? And i cant stop asking myself Where have you been? Why are you so late? Your just now getting here? Ive been wondering when you would catch on and realize that 'Life isnt going to wait on you.'
It doesnt stop just because little miss amber leighann says wait: Hang on, im not ready!!!
Its a grand moment to realize you are wrong.
But its a piteous one to realize you have been wrong 92% of your life and if you leave you in charge any longer its just going to get worse from here! Does anyone want to borrow my life? Spruce it up a little bit and then let my try again? I would ask to trade but i couldnt bare with the fault of quite nearly single handedly destroying 2 lifes!!!
Its like i am going backwards.. I had a job a good one..working at a watch store..I worked there almost 2 years and then got bored. So i quit. No one told me you cant just quit?? No one told me other jobs wouldnt be lining up dying to hire me!!...sadly...they might have... I had a car..a 99 mitsubitshi eclipse..white..junky..but i loved it. But no one told me i had to check the oil all the time! No one told me that it could run out of oil and never show you the red oil light!! sadly..someone did... but what now??
Should i just completly get ride of eveything and start over??....Ive successfully created my first blog... But...Will i ever get a job?? Will i ever get another car?? Will i ever figure out how to make a resume???....Hopefully, maybe, someday???
HAHAHAHAHAHA
(smiley face)
And i am just wondering.. Who told everyone how to do all this stuff? and WHERE THE HECK WAS I?? Seriously? I feel like i just slept everyday for a week in class and woke up in the middle of a quiz that everyone else had known about and been studying for since last friday and im like What did i miss guys?
I just cant even fathom how i have been "sleeping" for the last 5 years of my life and all the sudden when i realize i have nothing i wake up?? And i cant stop asking myself Where have you been? Why are you so late? Your just now getting here? Ive been wondering when you would catch on and realize that 'Life isnt going to wait on you.'
It doesnt stop just because little miss amber leighann says wait: Hang on, im not ready!!!
Its a grand moment to realize you are wrong.
But its a piteous one to realize you have been wrong 92% of your life and if you leave you in charge any longer its just going to get worse from here! Does anyone want to borrow my life? Spruce it up a little bit and then let my try again? I would ask to trade but i couldnt bare with the fault of quite nearly single handedly destroying 2 lifes!!!
Its like i am going backwards.. I had a job a good one..working at a watch store..I worked there almost 2 years and then got bored. So i quit. No one told me you cant just quit?? No one told me other jobs wouldnt be lining up dying to hire me!!...sadly...they might have... I had a car..a 99 mitsubitshi eclipse..white..junky..but i loved it. But no one told me i had to check the oil all the time! No one told me that it could run out of oil and never show you the red oil light!! sadly..someone did... but what now??
Should i just completly get ride of eveything and start over??....Ive successfully created my first blog... But...Will i ever get a job?? Will i ever get another car?? Will i ever figure out how to make a resume???....Hopefully, maybe, someday???
HAHAHAHAHAHA
(smiley face)
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